I hate my own birthday, which is ironic. TTF was built on the foundation of everyday celebrations and treating yourself. I love the concept of birthdays. I love celebrating and making a big deal out of other people’s birthdays. But I hate my own birthday.
This has been a rather recent development for me. But just the idea that people are forcing other people to celebrate something that happens every year is odd to me. This probably stems from my own insecurities but here would be some possible suspect reasons why I hate my own birthday as much as I do:
- I’ll be humiliated if I make a huge deal out of it and no one remembers. This hasn’t happened to me, but I’m sure it must be every child’s nightmare to have a giant party where no one shows up and you’re just sitting there with a cake and party hat all alone.
- Unless you’re celebrating a milestone (18, 21, 40, 65, 100) no one really cares. Can we talk? If you’re turning 24 this year, big whoop.
- It feels odd to be the center of attention for doing nothing. Like making people lavish me with praise, congratulations and best wishes for what? Staying alive for yet another 365 days? Wake me up when it’s over. Unless I’ve made an actual accomplishment, then I don’t want anyone throwing me a party. Like if I found a cure for cancer, then SURE throw me a giant party and a parade while you’re at it. In the meantime, save it the streamers for a real occasion.
- Another reminder that I’m a year older. I also don’t need giant numbers to remind people of my age. Here would be the ages that it’s appropriate to have giant balloon numbers for someone’s age: (1-10, 16, 18, 21, 50, 60, 65, 75, 100) If you’re age doesn’t fall in any of those aforementioned digits, save your helium for someone who cares.
- I’m really picky when it comes to decorations, desserts and gifts. I feel guilty when people put effort into getting me things that aren’t my favorite and then I feel guilty for having to lie that I do like them. Really, it’s more that I appreciate the extra effort but then I feel guilty that they felt obligated to do anything for me and the cycle continues.
- Can we retire the phrase “birthday month and/or week?” Black History gets to have a month, not you. You get one day.
But then I had a realization, my dislike for my own birthday comes from my own insecurities that people are feeling obligated to do things for me, when in fact it’s the opposite. My friends and family go out of their way for my birthday to do nice things for me because they want to.
When I think about it, it makes so much more sense because I don’t feel obligated to do anything for other’s people’s birthdays. I only try to make them feel as special as possible because I want them to feel special. Why would people who actually care about me feel any different? There’s a big difference between expecting everyone to do things for you versus just being appreciative and enjoying it for what it is.
This year I’m turning 30. I guess you can say that this is a milestone. Particularly how far I’ve come compared to my last milestone birthday (25) when I had a quarter life crisis. Thirty feels like a culmination of all that I’ve accomplished with my day job, my company and personally in the last 5 years.
So this year I’m going to embrace not only my own birthday but also myself. I deserve being treated well, I deserve having people in my life that want to celebrate with me. I’m not sure what my actual birthday has in store this year but I do know for sure that I’ll be making a toast to myself for just being me.
Do you guys celebrate your own birthdays? Am I totally insane? Please comment below on ideas on the perfect way to celebrate. Happy 30th Birthday to me!