Last week, it was my friend’s birthday. She decided to throw herself a grown up party at a club downtown and booked herself a VIP table. I hadn’t seen a bunch of these girls in a long time so I was looking forward to this. I texted a bunch of the girls the day before to confirm who was going and figure out the logistics. I wanted to do something special for the birthday girl — a champagne toast, birthday cake, and then a DIY’d piñata in the shape of her favorite food, a salmon sushi roll.

To my surprise, only one out of ten girls responded to my text, and the response I received was along the lines of “oh just got this, not sure if I’m going yet.” That’s weird, I always see them on Instagram taking tons of photos together, so I assumed FOR SURE everyone would be there. The morning of, a couple more girls finally responded to my text, mentioning that they were also maybes. What’s the deal here? VIP table? Hello? I resolved to go either way, because I live close by and can just duck out really quickly if the party is a dud. I was sure I’d get a reasonable explanation on what was up by the time we all got together.

The invite on Facebook said the night started promptly at 10:30PM so I thought it’d be safe to show up around 11. When I got there, to my surprise, not a single person had arrived yet, including the birthday girl. I was there holding a bunch of hand painted champagne flutes, a cake, a piñata and was alone. There was no VIP seating arranged as of yet so I hate to sit by the bar by myself. Of course, every person was running late and had a bunch of excuses. By the time everyone finally arrived (at almost midnight), most of the girls were already drunk. I couldn’t believe it. Why bother drinking at home so much when we’re at a bar? I politely hung out with everyone for about 30 minutes, then made an excuse and left to go home early because I had work in the morning. Everyone made fun of me for being a party pooper but I was tired, bored and over it. I wished my friend happy birthday, gave her my gift and promptly exited the situation.

What shocked me the most about that bust of a night was that I wasn’t even upset about what happened. I hadn’t seen those girls in a long time and simply forgot about the fact that they are terrible about texting me back and being prompt. Trying to have a conversation with them was extremely difficult because I realized that we no longer had anything in common. It was depressing coming to the conclusion that sometimes you outgrow your friends. Not that I’m boring like some people like to believe but I’m 27 years-old, literally a hop, skip and a jump away from 30. I’m pretty sure it’s no longer cute to be a mess at this point.

I’ve honestly just been trying to live my life one day at a time, growing my business and somewhere along the way, I grew up. I don’t even know how it happened. I no longer have any interested in getting really drunk, in spending money that I don’t have, and in spending time with people I could care less about. The best part about this whole thing is that I love it. I love embracing the idea that I need to start acting my age. If I don’t want to drink, why should I drink? If I want to save money, why do I need to hide it from other people? Before, I’d be embarrassed by the fact that people thought I was boring because I would much rather stay in with a big bowl of grapes and watch Netflix versus getting crazy at the Hookah Lounge. But at this point, who cares what they think? They’re probably at the lounge right now anyways. I love being in bed at a reasonable hour, in fact I’m writing this article from my bed right now.

Am I boring according to certain people’s standards? Yes. But why do I need to live my life according to anyone’s standards but my own? Why do other people dictate the rules on how I do me? I’ve chosen to embrace my grown up ways because otherwise I’m stunting myself. I’m so sick of people who want to be “eternally young” because it’s hard for me to see how they could evolve as people. Humans aren’t meant to be stagnant, but who am I to tell others how to live their lives?

Here are specific ways that I’m embracing my newfound adulthood —

What i'd rather be doing as a grown up
What i’d rather be doing as a grown up

I make people take pictures with me all the time. I used to be so annoyed when an older family member would want to take a million pictures to commemorate the festivities. But when you get older, you realize that there’s so much you forget if you don’t have pictures. So hurry, someone take a selfie with me while I’m still beautiful!

My friends HAVE to make plans ahead of time in order to get together. Gone are the days where I could just call people whenever and show up. Who has that much spare time? Between work, family, significant others, I literally have to schedule out every moment of my life. It’s what keeps me sane and on track.

I try to be on time to everything. I literally don’t have time in my life for people who are always late. If I have a few hours that I’ve carved out in my schedule for you and you’re wasting one of them by being an hour late with no warning? This is some early 20s BS, you know what I mean? BYE.

I don’t spend money when I don’t need something. Ok, I’ll admit, I still get coffees everyday and good food is a necessity for me. But going to the mall everyday? Give me a break. Being able to pay my bills and save money has not only become a necessity but it’s an essential part of growing up. This way when I’m treating myself to something, it feels worth it.

I just want to stay in. At this point, my most cherished memories with my friends are the deep conversations and little things that I can hang onto. When I was younger, I was very obsessed with making sure that I was “living” and had “experiences” to discuss. But realistically, how many “good dinner party stories” can you even remember? To me, it’s the actual dinner party that matters to me. The fact that my close friends are over to spend time with me. At the end of the day, isn’t that what’s important?

 

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