Can I tell you guys a secret? Shhhhhh. This is something I’ve never told anyone before. It’s something that I’m not even sure I’ve even admitted to myself. I think Astrology is a bunch of bullsh*t. Stay with me.
I don’t know why I’ve been scared to admit this when I’ve had the chance. I’ve often had to listen to people talk about horoscopes and compatibility with other signs for hours on end. How Sexology has literally CHANGED their lives. When Mercury is in retrograde, they might as well take the week off. (Are you kidding with me with this?) But when another friend of mine mentioned that she thought it was stupid, it was one huge ordeal. Everyone defended it like I defended Santa Claus to my friends in the playground as a child —
“How can you not believe it?”
“It’s because you haven’t read Sexology.”
“You just need to have an open mind.”
I should have backed up my friend at the time, but I didn’t. I didn’t know myself what I believed. Growing up, I’ve always been a staunch opponent against superstitious things. Ladders? I’ll cartwheel under them. Black cats? Bring them on. Mirrors? Haven’t broken one yet, but it wouldn’t be a big deal to me. But then one day I started to doubt myself. I read a certain book that had personality features based on the day the reader was born. My common personality traits according to the book were “confident, funny, caring, and loyal.” At the time, I thought, “Weird, did this person meet me before? How did they know that was me?” This seriously shook my entire belief system to the core.
I needed to double check the evidence so I looked up my best friend’s birthday. Common features were “adventurous, happy, hard working, and thoughtful.” Oh my god, it’s like someone reached inside our brains and put it into a book. What’s happening here? Could I have been wrong about this stuff this entire time? Maybe there’s something to this Astrology stuff. I mean, the book was written by a real doctor after all. How could an entire industry be based on something that had ZERO evidence?
I went back to my own birthdate to analyze more precious clues on what my personality was about. Suddenly I notice something at the bottom. “Compatible with other Virgos and Pisces. NOT compatible with Gemini and Leos.” My best friend and boyfriend were each of these signs. Was this a message? This book has been right about everything so far, why would it be wrong about this? My boyfriend and I have been fighting quite a bit lately. Could this be the beginning of the end? This book seemed to know me better than the back of my hand. I scrambled to text me boyfriend my new concerns and then I got a look at myself in a nearby mirror.
My jacket was half off. I had the book clutched in one hand. My coffee had spilt over and I didn’t even notice. My hair was a total mess. How is this “confident, funny, caring and loyal?” I was contemplating breaking up with a someone over a book. I suddenly remembered this one guy who was the high school bully and had the same birthday as I. He let his brother take the blame for a Senior Prank he tried to pull off. How is that loyal? Who am I and what am I doing? Any idiot can construe these nondescript traits for themselves. Why do I need a book to tell me what my personality traits are? If I can’t do that for myself, I’m going to need a lot more help than a Sexology book.
I began to question the entire industry. The more research I tried to do on the topic the more I realized that there’s actually no hard evidence on planets affecting people’s fates. Why am I the crazy one? To me, these are nothing more than old wive’s tales, and why shouldn’t I be confident in my opinions? Sure, the Zodiac has been around for a long time. But are there any legitimate doctors that study this? Is this a real degree? An accredited degree?
Don’t get me started on “lucky numbers.” I don’t judge other people for their beliefs. People just need to respect mine. Do I disagree? Yes. Have I met any doctors who are into Astrology? No. I’m just saying.