*This is Part One of my Tri-umphant Friendship series where I explore what friendship means to me and others.*
Sometimes there are things that you and your best friend will constantly discuss — that time you fell off a barstool on that guy you like, that time you had to hide in the bushes to spy on her boyfriend, that time with the body and…never mind. Then there are those things that you never have to discuss. You don’t even need eye contact in order to communicate. Whether you guys are in constant vicinity with each other or live in different cities, there’s nothing that can come in between the two of you.
I can’t stand it when people are fast and loose with the term “friend.” People don’t know what it really means to be a friend these days. A friend isn’t just someone that you enjoy partying with. A friend is someone that you have cried with. Someone that you’ve picked up at 5 in the morning. Someone who will pull an all-nighter hand-making your wedding favors for you. Someone that will go on your hard drive and delete all the embarrassing stuff in the event of your death. That’s a friend.
Let me elaborate even further:
It’s ok to judge — Sure, I can be judgmental with my friends. We’re all human. Any person who says that they’re not judgmental when it comes to their friends is a liar and not to be trusted. But it’s possible to judge someone but simultaneously accept them for who they are. After you get your initial laughs out, you move on. If you can’t laugh about your problems with your best friend, then who can you laugh with?
Be there for each other — You best friend is someone who you can count on to be there when it counts. I’m not talking about a weekly lunch date. People flake all the time, it happens. But let’s say a family member dies? They better be there for you. No exceptions.
Just be real — Sometimes you have to give an unpopular opinion. But your best friend is counting on you to be real. That needs to be the one person in your life that you can keep it 100 with. No fronts, no make up, no weaves, no jokes. Just being yourself. Every time I’ve been specifically asked for an honest opinion, people trust me not to sugarcoat anything. At the end of the day, I really believe your best friend will respect you for that.
You are here to be friends, this isn’t a competition — This isn’t the place for false
modesty. BFF time is the time to be gleeful, gloating, and prideful. Because your best friend is someone who truly wants what’s best for you and always has your best interest at heart. Sure, sometimes you might be slightly jealous of their success, but it’s much more rewarding to be happy for someone versus being resentful.